I haven’t given you a heart to heart in too long.
I’m in a good place. It’s hard and scary and uncertain sometimes, but in the way that feels okay. Still safe.
I’ve been pushing through fog recently, and last Sunday I saw some sun. I was pretty disconnected from the Lord, honestly. I was disconnected from everything. It was one of those days. I was sitting down though worship, and the Lord dropped words in my heart, when I wasn’t even listening.
Over and over,
"I’m gonna take you to the mountaintop.
I’m gonna carry you on my back to the mountaintop.
I’m gonna take you to the mountaintop.”
Like, awesome, but confusing. I had no context, nothing that this reminded me of, nothing I could make a connection to. So I wrote it down and let it sit. That night, Reach had another pre-launch meeting, and we got into small groups to talk. I talked with Stephanie and our friend Leah, and Leah ended up saying something to me about going higher and higher. Stephanie said that over the past year she’s seen me fight battles, but uphill battles, and Leah chimed in saying that she saw me going uphill.
Which immediately reminded me of what the Lord said to me that morning. Later on that night, Nick went to pray for me and in the middle of his prayer, began to say, “You’re taking her from mountaintop to mountaintop.”
And honestly, you guys, I have no idea what that means. I don’t know what the mountaintop looks like, what I’ll find there, what the view will be, or if I’ll end up falling off the top, but I know I am moving forwards, constantly with my eyes and hands upwards, holding onto the hope of the promises He’s given me. Promises that He’ll take care of me.
I still don’t know what the mountaintop means but I know I’m going to get there.